Ariel’s Magnolia Birth Story

By Magnolia Birth House Client, Ariel Miller-Gonzalez

When my first baby was born two years ago, I had a traumatic birth experience in a hospital. My husband, Christopher, and I were both disrespected by the doctor.

We were first-time parents, and after doing our own research, we felt we could trust the doctor we’d chosen. But that trust was completely broken the day I went into labor. He did everything he could to go against the birth plan we discussed with him. He broke my water without my consent, and that led to a spiral of so many things.

Thankfully, my daughter was delivered safe and healthy by another on-call doctor, and I was just so glad to finally have her in my arms.

Yet, I couldn’t shake the lack of care and compassion I experienced during my 18-hour labor. Because of the previous doctor’s insensitivity, I knew that if we had another baby, it would not be in a hospital.

Expecting a Second Baby and Finding Magnolia

In 2019, I surprisingly found out I was expecting a second time! It was joyful news, but I definitely felt a little anxious. I was seeing an OB, but I knew I wanted a different birth experience. My soul refused to settle for another hospital birth.

However, when the pandemic hit, I was stuck at a crossroads. I had a few birthing centers in mind, but they didn’t seem like the right fit. It was either out of our budget, or too far. A friend of mine referred me to a midwife, but that midwife no longer lived in Florida. That person then gave me the phone number for Jamarah, but I had no idea she was working at Magnolia. Then, another friend told me about Magnolia, so I called and visited on the same day. Jamarah was there, and I thought, “This is meant to be.” I felt God had answered our prayers.

“Because of the previous doctor’s insensitivity, I knew that if we had another baby, it would not be in a hospital.”

When I walked into Magnolia, I noticed how clean it was, which is very important to me. Everyone was friendly — it felt like home. I met Tamara, who was amazing. It was such a refreshing space — a space where I knew I could birth at ease. I knew I would feel comfortable, safe, and supported there. I could tell my concerns would be heard and validated, and that my choices would be respected.

I transferred to Magnolia and received my last two months of prenatal care there. I got to know the staff, and it was the best care I had ever had. I loved how important birthing is to them, and how passionate they are about making sure couples and families are informed and empowered.

Feeling Contractions and Progressing Through Labor

On the evening of April 21, 2020, I started to feel mild contractions. I was still able to do whatever I needed to, like cook dinner and play with my daughter. My husband noticed I was winded very easily, and often cautioned me to rest and not try to do so much. Early the next morning, though, the contractions woke me from my sleep and continued to progress. At about 5:30 a.m., the contractions were becoming more intense and closer together

I’d heard that second labor can be fast, and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t give birth outside the birthing center. I FaceTimed with my friend, who had helped me put together my birth plan and postpartum plan. She said I was showing some signs of labor and encouraged me to text my midwife. I sent Jamarah a message and continued tracking my contractions. I also took a screenshot of my contraction timer and sent that to Jamarah. She confirmed that I was definitely progressing.

After a couple of hours, the pain became increasingly intense, so I decided to take a hot shower to help soothe myself, but after a while, it didn’t help. As I continued laboring through the pain, my husband was periodically in communication with Jamarah. At 8:40 a.m., my husband let Jamarah know that I was definitely nearing delivery. At the time, we lived about eight minutes away from the birthing center, and we met Jamarah there around 9:15.

Jamarah hadn’t arrived yet, so we were sitting in the car. We were both crying tears of joy (and of nervousness) because we knew we would soon get to meet our son. We were grateful to be in such good hands and so thankful that we didn’t have to worry about being mistreated by a medical professional. We didn’t have to worry about my husband not being able to support me.

I began feeling intense pressure and an urgent need to push. I could no longer sit comfortably, so I decided to get out of the car, and I was actually squatting in the parking lot! I later learned that Tamara could see me on the security cameras, so she had called Jamarah to let her know I was outside, looking like I was ready to have the baby. When Jamarah arrived, I felt ready to push.

Breathing, Pushing, and Meeting My Son

As we walked in, my husband was holding me. We went straight to the birthing room, and I got on the bed. Jamarah asked to check me, and I consented. She told me I was a full 10 centimeters and ready to go. I got on my knees on the bed because that’s what felt the most natural and comfortable. I wanted to let gravity help me push my baby out. I took my time as the contractions came, breathing and trying to push. I learned to listen to my body, because it already knew what to do.

My husband gave me water and ice. I was so thirsty, and my lips were getting chapped. He was so supportive, doing hip massage and stacking pillows. He was happy because he wasn’t able to support me in that way with our daughter. At the hospital, he felt like he wasn’t as involved (there were lots of restrictions) and he really wanted to be. He rooted me on, saying, “You can do it.” This time, though, it was not just, “You can do it,” but “I’m going to help you as you do it.” I needed him in that physical way, and that experience brought us closer together.

Jamarah was coaching me so calmly and reassured me that I was doing just what I needed to do. Na’imah was also there, and I loved her energy. She asked me questions about how I was feeling and how the baby felt. They told me to push when I needed to, to breathe my baby down. As I was pushing, I made deep, low, and steady sounds — and whatever I needed to do to get him down.

I felt the ring of fire, but I expected it since I had given birth before. It was different this time; I fully embraced the pain, versus being scared of it. I used the pain in that moment to push. It motivated me to get him out. I just wanted to see him. I wanted to see this little person, to see his face and hold him.

“During the postpartum visits, I was glad to be at home and not have to worry about going out to an appointment. I could be comfortable and relax. When they cared for me, I thought, “This is how it’s supposed to be.” They were sweet, relatable, encouraging, informative, and supportive.”

Jamarah caught him when he came out. His umbilical cord was short, so she passed him under my legs, and I held him. I was bawling. I talked to him and sang Happy Birthday to him. I said, “It’s nice to meet you,” and it really was nice to meet him. I was surrounded by so much love and support from my family as well as Jamarah and Na’imah. Aidan Miller-Gonzalez was born at 9:42 a.m. April 22, 2020, weighing 8 pounds, 11 ounces at birth.

I just held him on my chest and enjoyed the skin-to-skin time with him. Since that moment, life hasn’t been the same. I have this beautiful little baby boy who’s cuddly and loving. When he was born, I was praying and thanking God because it was a crazy time during the pandemic. With the way the world was and is, there was a moment of peace in birthing him, and it brought joy to my heart.

After I delivered the placenta, we rested for a while and got to go home a few hours later. I was so happy to be with my family, rather than being cooped up in the hospital. My 2-year-old daughter, Adah, was so excited to meet her baby brother and be a big sister. She was gentle as she kissed him and rubbed his head. It was sweet to be a little family of four.

Receiving Excellent Postpartum Care from the Magnolia Team

During the postpartum visits, I was glad to be at home and not have to worry about going out to an appointment. I could be comfortable and relax. When they cared for me, I thought, “This is how it’s supposed to be.” They were sweet, relatable, encouraging, informative, and supportive.

The Magnolia Team checked to see I was healing physically, but they also cared about my emotional and mental wellness. They encouraged self-care, and they would periodically check on me by sending me a text and asking how I’m doing.

I had postpartum depression with my first, so they wanted to make sure I got ahead of that this time. They encouraged me to start up with therapy again virtually, and that has been a huge help in my postpartum recovery. I also had my placenta encapsulated, and it was definitely helpful to take the capsules. I had a really good recovery overall.

Although Aidan latched on well at the birth center, we encountered a few latching issues later on, and my milk was taking a while to come in the way I expected. He was very yellow, and we confirmed that he had jaundice. I eventually gave him formula for two days, and then my milk finally came in. Thanks to lactation support from Magnolia and a really great holistic pediatric office, we had the support we needed. Aidan went right back to exclusively breastfeeding the same week.

Reflecting on My Birth Experience at Magnolia

I have never felt so loved and cared for than when I was at Magnolia. Giving birth there was one of those experiences I will never forget. I didn’t feel like another dollar sign. I felt like a person, a mother who was birthing a baby, not just another patient. I was loved and accepted, like family – that’s how it feels. When people treat you like a human being, like you matter and you’re valued, it means a lot.

During my first birth at the hospital, I felt like my power was taken away. I felt violated, restricted, and helpless, but at Magnolia, I was strong again. The strength that was in me all along was encouraged to come out. There were no blinding lights, no doctors and nurses in and out of the room. I had the freedom to move around and birth how I wanted — to be in control of my birth.

My daughter is beautiful, and I love her so much. Part of me still mourns the fact that her birth, in a way, was tainted. Having our son at Magnolia was like redemption in a way. I know birth is uncomfortable and painful, but at Magnolia, I felt comfortable, safe, and at ease. I was empowered. It was surreal, and I’m so thankful to have been birthed there.

Jamarah was an amazing midwife from the beginning — knowledgeable, caring, and sweet. Na’imah spoke affirmations and provided encouragement and instructions; she was loving, firm, and supportive. The entire energy at Magnolia provided the perfect environment for my baby to be born in, especially with being pregnant and giving birth during the pandemic. When I went to my six-week postpartum appointment, I was on the verge of tears, sad that I might never see the Magnolia team again. Jamarah joked that is unless I get pregnant again!

The whole experience has made me want to empower other women, so I am completing a program to become a breastfeeding peer counselor. I’m also part of and contribute to several online and virtual mom communities. With the challenges I had with my past birthing experience and the encouragement and support I received, I know how vital it is to have a community that supports your choices and provides you with options. That’s what Magnolia has done for me. I’ve been empowered like never before. I’m truly grateful for all the work Magnolia is doing and has done for my family.