The Birth of Harlow-Lynn
By Magnolia Birth House Client, Shannen Marie
During my first pregnancy in 2015, I didn’t know anything about out-of-hospital birth. I was seeing the OB/GYN my mother had gone to, although most of my interactions were with the nurses and the staff. The doctor would come in for the last five minutes of my appointments and say, “See you in a month.”
I had a friend who recently had a home birth. After seeing her Facebook posts, I watched The Business of Being Born and decided I was not giving birth in a hospital. I found The Gathering Place and went for a consultation. Magnolia had just opened, and I met a couple of the midwives and Tamara. It instantly felt like the place where I wanted to have my baby.
I was six months pregnant when I switched my prenatal care to Magnolia. I started going to my appointments there and took childbirth classes, while reading books and watching videos on my own. My partner at the time was supportive, but my family wasn’t. My mother had had three C-sections, and everyone was scared. I had my heart set on a natural birth, and when that happens, I’m going to do it no matter what.
With my first baby, Adeline, my water broke, and I went from 6 to 10 centimeters dilated in 20 minutes. I wanted a water birth, but there was not enough time. Adeline’s birth was an empowering moment for me. I wanted the out-of-hospital birth, so I was satisfied that I could do it on my own.
Returning to Magnolia for My Second Pregnancy
When I got pregnant the second time, I knew I wanted to go to Magnolia again. I said to myself, “I’m going to have my baby in the water this time around.” I was in a relationship with someone new who had never had a child before, so we did all the classes. I did more research and learned a lot of things I hadn’t known the first time. I felt very supported by my family and my partner’s family, and I knew my doula and midwife were very good.
Similar to the first time, my second labor started with my water breaking at 39 weeks. It was about 4 a.m. on December 7, 2019. I had been regularly checking in with my midwife, Jamarah, but when my water broke, I wanted to go to the birth center because of how quickly my first labor progressed. My partner, David, had everything ready to go, and we live only seven minutes away from Magnolia.
When we arrived at the birth center, my midwife checked my cervix, which was dilated to 4 centimeters and high. My contractions were strong, and I couldn’t get a hold of my doula. I later learned she was in a car accident on the way to the birth. David helped me through the contractions. He rubbed my lower back, did hip squeezes, held me as I squatted, gave me coconut water to drink, and fed me berries and graham crackers. I started to get really cold, then really hot. David would put a robe on me, and my mom was fanning me.
I was on the bed, on my knees. David was behind me, and my mom was in front of me. Labor progressed pretty quickly. In less than three hours, I was 9 centimeters and 100 percent effaced. It was time to get in the water, and I immediately felt relief in the tub, especially for the pain in my lower back.
Having the Water Birth I Always Wanted
I felt my body naturally pushing, and I focused on all the movements I needed to do to get my daughter out. With two pushes, my second daughter, Harlow-Lynn, was born. I was in the middle of the tub, and the midwife caught the baby and put her on my chest.
Immediately, I felt relief. I had been dreaming of what she was going to look like and sound like, and here she finally was. Harlow-Lynn was crying, and she looked great and sounded great.
After I delivered the placenta, I got out of the water and gave her to David. The Magnolia team was checking her vitals, and she latched really well right away. We relaxed on the bed, rested, and ate breakfast. I was so thirsty, so I drank a lot of water and coconut water.
My midwife did the newborn exam, and David cut the umbilical cord. We learned she weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 19 inches long. It was surprising because Adeline’s birth weight and length were 8 pounds, 6 ounces and 21 inches — about two pounds heavy and two inches longer!
It was so nice to be on the bed together with the baby and David, while some of our family members and friends surrounded us in the room. Adeline came to meet her baby sister, and we stayed at Magnolia for about three hours after the birth.
My postpartum care included an appointment with a lactation consultant because it was very painful when Harlow-Lynn nursed. She was not getting a good latch, but the lactation consultant and the doula helped to fix that problem.
During those first few weeks postpartum, the Magnolia team checked in and made sure I was okay. They asked if there was anything I needed, which I appreciated. I love how for the first two postpartum visits, they come to your house, and you don’t have to leave or take the baby out. I struggled with postpartum depression after Harlow-Lynn was born, and Magnolia offered a lot of support, and they still check on me.
Reflecting on My Birth Experiences at Magnolia
Even though I had a good experience with my first birth at Magnolia, there was still a lot of not knowing what to expect. For my second birth, however, I knew exactly what I wanted. A lot of that had to do with the childbirth classes.
David and I took all the classes Magnolia recommends, and they really helped me not be so scared of birth. Growing up, there’s a lot of fear about giving birth. It’s seen as a scary thing in movies with women screaming bloody murder.
But the childbirth classes make you feel comfortable. When you educate yourself and have a great support system, it’s not so scary. It’s beautiful and empowering — something you can definitely do. The classes were very informational on pain management and different positions, and that’s beneficial for partners, too. If something is hurting and you’re making a noise, the classes help them know how to help you and not be nervous.
With my first birth, I pushed while sitting on the bed with my knees up. Crowning felt like a really bad burning, and I didn’t know if I could push her out. I felt so much pain and started doubting myself. The midwife saw my reaction and said, “You can do this.”
This time around, I had 100 percent confidence in myself. There was no self-doubt. My mindset was, “I can do this,” which helped me get through it. My second birth wasn’t as painful as the first experience, and I didn’t feel the “ring of fire.” I know the water definitely helped a lot. David and I had done perineal massage during my pregnancy, and I think that helped, too.
Also, after my first birth, I needed help walking. After Harlow-Lynn was born, it was easier for me to walk around. When I was pregnant with Adeline, I was not working and lying down a lot. During my second pregnancy, I was more active than I was the first time. I worked at a restaurant the whole time, so I was constantly moving. Plus, I already have a toddler, so I’m very active with her. I would say it took half the time to heal than it did the first time.
Overall, my second birth was what I envisioned. It was exactly the birth I always dreamed I would have.
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