The Birth of Satori
By Magnolia Birth House client, Talmage Thornhill
“I was overwhelmed at the thought of giving birth, but everyone at Magnolia made me feel very comfortable and empowered to make my own choices.”
Satori Rene Thornhill came into this world like a shooting star, and she’s been the light of our lives ever since. Our family’s journey to the profound moment of her birth began with the joyful surprise of knowing she was growing in my belly. I was 39 years old at the time, deeply embedded in my career and in a relatively new relationship. I had never been someone who desperately wanted to have children, but I was thrilled to learn of her presence, and I immediately knew I wanted to give birth in the most natural way possible. I know a lot of women around my age may feel like they can’t give birth outside the hospital. I felt strongly that I wanted my baby’s entrance into the world to be organic – drug free, and with as little trauma and intervention as possible.
I was lucky that I did not have any risk factors or medical concerns, making it possible for me to have an out-of-hospital birth. I chose to birth at a birth house because the setting was both comfortable and safe, with medical services and easy transfer available if needed. With no friends or family having recent natural birth experiences to consult, I Googled birth centers in Miami and found Magnolia. I called around, but when I visited Magnolia and took a tour, I knew it was the right place for me. I transferred my prenatal care to Magnolia during the first trimester. Tamara offered to help me navigate my insurance coverage, and to my surprise we were able to have Magnolia approved as an out-of-network provider.
I was overwhelmed at the thought of giving birth, but everyone at Magnolia made me feel very comfortable and empowered to make my own choices. I was able to meet all the midwives and ultimately chose to work with Jamarah, who had a calm, confident energy. All the prenatal care was amazing, but as a first-time mom and recovering control freak, I was feeling anxious and had a lot of questions. Every time I went for a visit, I had a list — whether it was about what I should be eating during pregnancy or tests after the baby was born.
“I also felt incredibly supported by my husband, Jamarah, and Ty”
The Magnolia team answered all of my questions and encouraged me to educate myself, too. I read books and began to understand the choices I needed to make and what things were the most important. The midwives explained my options to me in a factual way without emotion. There was never any judgment. Jamarah would tell me, “These are your choices. It’s your decision. Take time to research.” The team supported every decision I made.
That approach was so different from what I understand about hospital births. For me, the lack of informed consent in a hospital, where decisions about your body and your baby’s entrance into the world are dictated by corporate policies, would have felt demoralizing and dehumanizing. Birth is one of life’s most powerful moments; I didn’t want anyone to take that away from me.
Laboring at Home
When I was 39 weeks, I had my weekly checkup on August 6. I had been feeling tightening and Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple days, but on that Thursday, something felt different. When I had my appointment, Jamarah asked if I wanted her to check my cervix. I agreed, and she found that I was 50 percent effaced and three centimeters dilated.
It felt like Satori was coming, but it was not quite time. Jamarah said it could still be days and joked that she doesn’t have a crystal ball. We left Magnolia with plans to go out to eat, but I started to feel more tightening. I told my husband, Felix, “Things are starting to change,” so we got our food to go. I ate a little bit, but quickly began having contractions. It was time.
“The contractions began to intensify. Though I prepared as much as I could, the pain still floored me.”
I connected with Jamarah and my doula, Tyenna. “Ty” arrived around midnight and immediately helped me feel at ease. Her gentle yet assertive energy made me feel safe and supported. I was anxious to get to the birth house, and I told Ty that I didn’t want to go into active labor at home. Around 2:30 a.m. Friday morning, we left for Magnolia.
Having a Water Birth at Magnolia
We arrived at Magnolia in the middle of the night. Jamarah met us and unlocked the center. Once inside, I got on the exam table and Jamarah checked my cervix, which was dilated five centimeters. I never went into the exam room again, through the birth process and after.
“I danced through the pain with my husband, moving as much as I could.”
The birth house was calm and quiet; it was just me and my team of warriors who joined together to support my sweet girl’s debut. The contractions began to intensify. Though I prepared as much as I could, the pain still floored me. It was other-worldly – the kind of pain that can only be experienced to be understood, but I knew that the sensations would come and that eventually, they would end. I also felt incredibly supported by my husband, Jamarah, and Ty. Those two things are what gave me the strength to keep going.
Ty was a godsend during the five hours of active labor. She helped facilitate the labor, guiding me when I couldn’t connect to what I needed on my own because of the pain. After a few hours of active labor, I decided to take a shower. I noticed the sun was rising, and the daylight felt calming, bringing a sense of peace and tranquility. The contractions slowed down, and I thought this was the calm before the storm. Once I was out of the shower, they returned even more intensely. Around 7 a.m., I told Ty, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” Wisely, she did not respond!
As I was nearing transition, the contractions intensified yet again. Ty helped me understand that it was time for the baby to drop down into the birth canal, which requires a turn. She gave me a choice – I could keep powering through each contraction in the most comfortable position possible, or we could work together through more painful positions to facilitate the necessary movements more quickly. I wanted the labor to be efficient, both for me and for Satori, so we went for the second option. While I bent over the side of a peanut ball, Ty used a Rebozo, which is a traditional Mexican shawl, to help the baby turn and drop down into the birth canal. Even though the transition was immensely painful, I never reconsidered my decision or asked for a transfer so I could have an epidural or pain medication.
I began to feel the urge to bear down, or push. Ty suggested I get up and move around. I danced through the pain with my husband, moving as much as I could. Suddenly I felt a monumental relief of pressure and a flood of water all over the birth house lobby floor. My water had finally broken. Jamarah exclaimed, “Alright, let’s have a baby!”
“Her dad had chosen the music we were playing throughout the morning, but divine timing brought the perfect song on at the exact moment of her birth. Ethereal yet powerful, the vocals provided the most magical setting for her first breaths.”
I returned to the birth room ready to push. The Magnolia team had filled the birth pool with warm, fresh water. I entered the pool and succumbed to the urges to bear down. My team asked what position I wanted to be in to deliver – I had no idea! I reclined and focused on using each contraction to move my baby girl closer to life. I remember feeling like I needed to hold back from pushing as much as I could, which I would later realize helped prevent tearing. I took a breath and pulled back, waiting for the next surge. After a handful of contractions and about ten minutes of pushing, she crowned. My team asked if I wanted to catch her, but I couldn’t focus on anything but bringing her into the world. I took a deep belly breath and made one last push. Her dad caught her under the water and brought her up to my chest.
Her dad had chosen the music we were playing throughout the morning, but divine timing brought the perfect song on at the exact moment of her birth. Ethereal yet powerful, the vocals provided the most magical setting for her first breaths.
Resting on my chest, Satori lifted her head and looked right at me. She wasn’t even crying – although I sure was! The feeling of awe and admiration one feels at the birth of their child is indescribable. It would be a cliché to say she was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, but it is true nonetheless. I told her, “I’m so proud of you. You did so well.” Everyone focuses on the mom, but Satori was the one who was pushing her way down. She did it. I just helped to make it happen.
“I am so grateful for every individual at Magnolia and for the support and guidance I received.”
Satori was born at 8:18 a.m. on August 7, 2020, weighing 7 pounds, 5 ounces, and measuring 20 inches long. I was in active labor for about five hours.
After the birth, I sat in the pool with Satori, and Felix came in, too. The placenta wasn’t coming out on its own, so Jamarah helped to deliver it. We had decided to do a lotus birth, which is when the placenta and umbilical cord stay attached to the baby until the cord falls off on its own. I put Satori to the breast, and she nursed. Jamarah did the newborn exam and tended to me and Satori. After eating and showering, we left Magnolia at about noon. One magical night there changed our lives forever.
While my pregnancy and birth were very positive experiences, I had challenges postpartum. Because of an infection, I couldn’t nurse on my left breast. We were never really able to establish nursing effectively. My supply was low, but I pumped every drop I made for about seven months. Through a social media group called Human Milk for Human Babies, I received milk donations from moms in my area who were making more than they needed. That was a godsend for us. I had a difficult time emotionally with not being able to breastfeed. I was so grateful that during my time of need, other moms stepped up to ensure Satori had breastmilk.
Reflecting on My Birth Experience at Magnolia
Satori’s birth was a profound and positive experience. I am so grateful for every individual at Magnolia and for the support and guidance I received. During labor, I felt pain and joy, ecstasy and agony. I wish all moms could know the depth of the emotions and physical sensations of drug-free birth, because it’s the most empowering experience a woman can have. I know that the way I birthed Satori gave her the best possible foundation for her life, and so did keeping her attached to the placenta after the birth. It was like her little twin. Her dad took a lot of pride in caring for all three of us, and we even went to the pediatrician with the placenta in tow. Three days after the birth, the cord fell off. It was all very natural and easy.
Satori has never really been sick. Even though Felix and I both had COVID, Satori never coughed or showed signs of feeling unwell. She’s been incredibly healthy and vibrant. Satori is such a perfect little girl — smart, social, fun, and confident. She taught us so much during pregnancy, birth, and already in her first year.
To end, I would like to share some of my husband’s thoughts on Satori’s birth: “I was honored to witness this process and to see how strong Talmage is. Her attitude is what made the difference. She would always say that the pain will be what it will be – it will come and go. And when there was pain, she surrendered. She always wanted what was best for the baby. I am grateful that I got to see how strong women are, and all women need to take that back and know how fierce they are.”
“Satori is such a perfect little girl — smart, social, fun, and confident. She taught us so much during pregnancy, birth, and already in her first year.”
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