The Birth of Simone

By Magnolia Birth House Client, Rose

When I learned I was pregnant, I visited three birth centers in the area. Non-traditional ways of healing had been very successful for me in the past. I knew I wanted an unmedicated birth, and I wanted to avoid the hospital. My mom gave birth to me at home, and my sister-in-law also birthed me at home. Magnolia was the place where I felt most comfortable, so I received all my prenatal care there. It was a relaxed and caring atmosphere.

Jamarah was my midwife, and my doula was Na’imah, who is also a wellness educator. When my first glucose test came back high, I was surprised, but Na’imah helped me change my diet. Thanks to her advice, I passed the second glucose test. She guided me through a lot of different challenges.

My due date came and went, and I started to get anxious because there is a rule in Florida that if you get to 42 weeks, birth center birth is not an option, and hospital birth is required, and I really wanted to avoid going to the hospital. I had a couple of false starts, which turned out to be strong Braxton Hicks contractions. 

On Christmas night, when I was 40 weeks, 5 days, I started having contractions at about 10 p.m. They lasted all night, and I didn’t sleep. As morning came, I got on my knees and sat on the yoga ball. Na’imah arrived around 8 a.m., and she and my husband supported me as I labored.

By 2 a.m. the next day, my contractions weren’t getting close together, but they were strong enough that Na’imah thought it was time to go to the birth center. We called Jamarah and headed to Magnolia. I was so nervous for the car ride and kneeled while laboring in the back seat. It was about 15-20 minutes away, and I had three contractions during the drive.

Continuing with Labor and Birthing at Magnolia

When we got to Magnolia, Jamarah checked my cervix, which was six centimeters dilated. That was a huge relief because I knew they wouldn’t send me home. My husband, Roman, and I walked around the block many times to try to bring on contractions.  I stopped and squatted down with each contraction as he held my hands. We labored like this for the entire morning and into mid-day. In and out of the birth center, walking around the neighborhood, and spending time on the yoga ball and toilet. I concentrated on my breath during the contractions, and made sounds with my lips in an O shape, trying to release the physical tension. Roman stayed calm throughout the whole process, assisting me not only physically, but also emotionally.  

At about 3 p.m., I tried to take a nap because I had gone two nights without sleep. However, lying down made the contractions even worse.

Jamarah asked if she could manipulate the baby’s head around my cervix while I had contractions. I agreed, but the pain was so intense. I was really retracting and pulling back, as I couldn’t bring myself to face those sensations. I panicked and even asked Na’imah, “Am I going to die?”

I went into the bathroom with Na’imah, and we had what she later referred to as her “come to Jesus” moments. She was tough on me in a way that I needed. She said, “You’re not going to die, but you have to go to that dark place inside yourself to get Simone. You’re trying to bring somebody into the world. It’s not going to be easy. When you have a contraction, that is Simone. You have to go through the pain to find her. You have to be OK with that feeling coming up. You have to face it and go through it. Feel it all. Be reborn as a mother.”

That pep talk was really helpful because it changed my mindset. I had been resisting the feelings of pain, pulling away from Jamarah and not giving her a chance to make the proper adjustments. I was wasting precious time to get Simone. I understood now that the feelings of the contractions were Simone coming through, and we had to work together to bring her into the world.

I told Jamarah I had to take a nap because I was so tired. She didn’t deny me that. I awoke from contractions every eight minutes, but I rested intermittently for 40 minutes. When I woke up, I was on a mission. I gained a second wind. I walked around the block with Roman again, and I welcomed the contractions. I squatted as long as I could during each contraction, instead of standing right back up. I had to feel them because that was Simone inching closer to coming out of me.

When we got back, we had a little conference in the hallway. It was supposed to be Jamarah’s day off, but she had kindly come in to help birth Simone as she knew I really wanted her there, but it was also her son’s birthday, and she’d already been there for a long time. She couldn’t be there for another 24 hours; another midwife would come. I knew if that happened, I would probably end up giving birth in the hospital with Pitocin and an epidural. It had already been so long, so I felt a little worried. Knowing that Jamarah would have to leave soon got me in gear. It gave me incentive to really push this process along and continue on my path of no fear. Still, the contractions were still not close enough together.

At about 6 p.m., it started raining, so we couldn’t go outside. I walked the halls and did squats. We put on energetic music to get hyped up. I was running on adrenaline. During contractions, I lay down, and Jamarah manipulated my cervix. I imagined myself going into a black hole, looking for the light: Simone.

I was going into that pain, knowing it was Simone coming. She did that for about 10 contractions. Na’imah said it was the first time in 15 years that she had seen a situation like mine: contractions on the bed and getting up to try to bring them on.

Around 7 p.m., Jamarah said I could have the baby in about 30 minutes. My membranes ruptured, and after Simone passed through my cervix, Jamarah asked, “How do you want to give birth — squatting or lying down?” Roman sat in a chair, and I squatted between his knees with my arms over his knees. Jamarah and Na’imah told me to push hard.

Simone was born at 8 p.m. on December 27, 2019. I saw her limp, bloody body with her beautiful face. Jamarah passed her to me and put her on my chest, and I was speechless and so happy. Suddenly, she started to cry. At seven and a half pounds, she was healthy and alert. I was in shock and exhausted from 46 hours of labor. They asked me to talk to Simone, but I couldn’t find the words, I just kept saying “Hi Simone, welcome…” in the most soothing voice I could muster.

Enduring a Postpartum Hemorrhage and Transferring to the Hospital

After Simone was born, I moved to the bed. She was still on my chest, and the placenta came out pretty easily. That’s when things changed, though. A lot of blood was coming out, and I saw concern on Jamarah’s face. It wouldn’t stop, so she started to contract my uterus with her hand, by kneading my stomach. Jamarah was calm, and she asked Na’imah to inject Pitocin into my arm. She did two injections, and Jamarah entered her hand through my cervix to contract my uterus in a more direct manner. It was not as painful as what I had just been through, but I was alarmed because they were so concerned.

The last thing I wanted to do was talk. I just wanted to rest with Simone, but they kept asking me to talk, and I understood why — they didn’t want me to lose consciousness. I told Simone about all the places she’d been while inside me because I had traveled a lot for work.

Jamarah and Na’imah called 911, and an ambulance arrived within minutes. Jamarah had stopped the bleeding, but she was concerned with how much blood had come out. The EMTs were men, but they were not fazed by a naked, bloody woman. Looking back, it’s silly that I was concerned about this, but I just didn’t want to alarm them. They put me on a stretcher, and as were leaving Magnolia, I remember thinking as I stared at the ceiling, “This is a different way of seeing the birthing center.” I also thought, “I hope I don’t die now. This would be the most inopportune time to die. Simome deserves a mother.” Despite these thoughts, I had an overall feeling of calm, perhaps because Jamarah had placed Simone on my chest.

Jamarah and Simone came with me in the ambulance, and the EMTs were so nice and funny. They checked vitals and kept the situation light. Simone had latched on right away, and I breastfed in the ambulance. Going to the hospital was an active precaution. Jamarah wanted to make sure I got the postpartum care I needed because I had lost so much blood. Jamarah and Na’imah stayed at the hospital until they were sure I was stable. Jamarah even made it to her son’s birthday dinner.

I could have been discharged that evening, but Simone and I stayed for two days because they treated Simone like she had been born at the hospital. I was so fascinated by Simone that it was hard to sleep, but I forced myself, and the postpartum care I got was great. I saw the purpose of the hospital, but I also saw the way that the nurses come in at all hours of the night. It’s invasive, and I was in a bright room. Giving birth would’ve been hard at the hospital. I needed mental space during birth, and I had the whole birthing center to myself with no interruptions. That wouldn’t have been possible at the hospital.

Despite being transferred, I had the birth I imagined in my husband’s arms, surrounded by loving, professional caregivers. I didn’t really realize the seriousness of the postpartum hemorrhage until Jamarah came to the hospital a couple of days later. She said she was sorry to have to contract my uterus, but it was a lifesaving move. I’m so lucky I had a midwife who could do that and stay calm.

Receiving Support During the Postpartum Period

During the postpartum period, I felt very supported. Jamarah came to my house a couple of times. She was really good about making me rest, telling me, “You have to stay in bed.” Na’imah came, too, and I went to the birth center with Simone a couple of times. I had my placenta encapsulated, and those amazing hormones helped keep my mood light.

I’m not sure what caused the postpartum hemorrhage. An osteopath, who I saw post-birth, found a slight case of scoliosis and said the curvature in my back could affect the shape of my uterus and how it exists in my body. I had seen a chiropractor during my pregnancy and they had never mentioned that. It’s also possible that my contractions not being close enough together could’ve led to my uterus not contracting after birth. I plan to see a uterine specialist to try and learn more. In any case, if I decide to have another child, that’s something I’ll have to watch.

Even though things didn’t go completely as planned, the team at Magnolia handled my hemorrhage in the most professional, caring, and life-saving way. I was able to have my perfect, unmedicated, intimate birth in my husband’s arms and still have safety that would rival any hospital.

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